I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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