Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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