Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
