i don't plan on having that self control this summer
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
