Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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