I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You should frame my arrest warrant.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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