dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
