I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
