ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
