Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize