im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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