if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.