their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.