Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs