Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
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By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
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I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.