He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
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He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
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Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.