I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
