Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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