I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
