what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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