I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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