what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
