She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
