If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
