yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
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His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
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It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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