South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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