Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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