is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
