He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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