thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
