I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
