I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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