Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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