ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
