I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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