I'm going to jail i love you
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
