I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
