two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
