Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
