Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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