yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
