Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
