spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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