Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
