alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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