Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I can text with my tongue
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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