Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
