Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Can I color on your dick again?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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