i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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