i always forget guys have bellybuttons
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
