Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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