they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
