Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
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She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
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We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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