Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize