hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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