My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
