I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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