This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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