Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
