I saw his package. It spoke to me.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
