Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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