Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
