Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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