jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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