ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
