i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
