and she was petting her beer can
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
