i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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